"You get panicked and I got panicked for my life."
- Philip Seymour Hoffman, award-winning actor and non-drinker at 22.
i've been struggling to find a reason to continue with my sobriety. sometimes i feel that i should have more time drinking under my belt before i can say that i need to quit. i should be living it up and having fun.
all these people keep telling me that I'm smart to quit while i'm young, that they wish they had been that smart. it reminds me of how almost every adult reacted…
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Posted on July 9th, 2008 at 9:26pm —
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i just want one fucking day where i don't HAVE to do anything. no work, no errands to run, no meeting friends for dinner, no phones ringing, no dogs backing. i just want to sit and read outside on my front porch without interruption. without Judie or Kevin sitting out front waiting for Janet. without Janet coming home and the dogs barking and her annoying voice saying, "We're going to the Jazz Festival. Do you want to come with us?" or judie with her patronizing smile and overly friendliness.
I…
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Posted on June 20th, 2008 at 3:17pm —
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"It's awkward to be around her, because I feel like she's walking on egghells. Like in one of theose cheesy interracial movies from the seventies where nobody ever mentions that the white girl's boyfriend is black, but everybody is highly aware of it. Then somebody says watermelon in a sentence and everyone sort of gasps. That's how I feel."
- from
Dry by Austen Burroughs
and that is truly how i feel now. a scar on my face, a deformed limb, a severed hand. everyone stares, catch themselv…
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Posted on June 17th, 2008 at 8:00am —
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it's funny how much drinking has been a part of my life, taking up so much of my time. now that i have chosen to be sober, what the heck am i going to do with extra time? while wondering around on the internet, i stumbled upon a page full of various extremely addictive quizzes. yes. replace one addiction with another....
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Posted on May 29th, 2008 at 11:00pm —
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Thursday was my first full week being sober since....god, i can't remember. perhaps since high school. I've noticed some things that are beneficial, such as my skin is not so dry and my hair is not so oily. People have told me that my face looks brighter, even people I have not told about my drinking problem. This makes me feel better about myself. For the longest time, I kept thinking that I
needed alcohol in order to function. i always thought that I was too fucked up to live life witho…
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Posted on May 24th, 2008 at 3:04pm —
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+++______________________
_+88________ROCK_ON~!!!___________
_+880_____________________________
_++88_____________________________
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__+888________________________+88_
__++880______________________+88__
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"FRIENDS ARE LIKE BALLOONS
ONCE U LET THEM GO
U CANT GET THEM BACK
SO IM GOING TO TIE U TO MY HEART
SO I NEVER LOOSE U”.
*GOD
* . *.*. * . ** . *.*OPEN
** . *.*. * . * . * THE WINDOWS
* .. * . * ..* * . *.*. * OF HEAVEN
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨) * . *.*LOOK TO ME
(¸.•´ (¸.•` *.*.*.** . *.*. *AND ASK
...*(¨`•.•´¨) .*.*.*.*.* * . *.*. *WHAT IS YOUR
. * .`•.¸(¨`•.•´¨) * . * . * . * ...*DREAM
. * .*.. *`•.¸.•´* (¨`•.•´¨) * . *FOR
* .. *..(¨`•.•´¨). *`•.¸.•´* . *TODAY?
..* ... *`•.¸.•´ * *. * . * . * ... *I
* . * . * . . * . *.*. * . * . *ANSWERED:
___00000___00000 *.*. * . * .. *GOD
__0000000_0000000. * . * . *TAKE
__0000 OOOO 00000. * . * . *CARE
___0000000000000 * . * . * . *OF
____00000000000 * . *. * . * .*PERSON
______0000000 * . *. * . * . * .. * . *.*THAT
________000 * . *. * . * ... * . *.*IS
_________0* . * .. ** .. * . *.*READING
* . * .. ** .. * . * . * . * . *.*THIS
.. * . (\ *** /) * . *.*.*TESTIMONAL
.* . * ( \(_)/ ) * * .BECAUSE,
.* . * (_ /|\ _) . *. * TIS PERSON IS
.* . * . /___\ * . . * . *SO
*. * . * . * . . * *SPECIAL...
you are doing really well mary,take care.x
__________,-~-. _.--._.-~-, _______
_________/ .- ,'_______`-. \______
_________\ /`__________\'/______
_________ /___'a___a`___\ ________
_________|____,'(_)`.____ |______
_________\___( ._|_. )___ /_________
__________\___ .__,'___ /__________
__________.-`._______,'-.__________
_____,'__,'___`-'___`.__`._______
_______/___/____V_____\___\____
_____,'____/_____o______\___`.___
___,'_____|______o_______|_____`._
__|_____,'|______o_______|`._____|
___`.__,'_.-\_____o______/-._`.__,'__
_________/_`.____o____,'__\_______
__.""-._,'______`._:_,'_______`.,-"".__
_/_,-._`_______)___(________'_,-.__\
(_(___`._____,'_____`.______,'___)_)
_\_\____\__,'________`.____/___/
"Most people come into our lives and quickly leave. It is the special few that come in and leave footprints on our hearts and we are forever changed.
These are our *F*R*I*E*N*D*S*!"
the username and password boxes arent showing...
i have flashplayer installed too....it was working alright before
nothing has changed...i think i am being blocked..
all i get is "The "Guest" feature is disabled; you must register on your first visit"
Thanks for your candid honesty too about boxes n labels, you are an indredibly honest and open person, very refreshing... and all those boxes?? they all seem to add up dont they?? I'm gunna be like a babooshka/ matryoshka doll..an identity box inside an identity box! Just so happens that currently the outer later is identified by others as 'alcoholic'!! mutter mutter...its certainly not what I call myself!
BTW just how long does it take you to brush that 'beast'??? hee hee :) :) :)
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