Support for staying clean and sober the LifeRing way
MichiganKevBoy
Profile
- Hometown:
- Hudson
- Relationship Status:
- Single
- How long clean and sober
- Since Nov. 28th of 2007
- About Me:
- Well here I go again...lol. For toughs of you that took the time to read all this thank you...
The best way to describe me would be usually taking care of others. I would give the shirt off my back and put myself at risk to protect a friend or family member.
Words that best describe me would be, Understanding, Selfless, Gullible, Unquestioning, Gentle, Indulgent, Humane, and Kindhearted.
A general description on how I interact with others would be I have a tender heart. Yes, I know others need to learn to take care of themselves. Yes, I know they need to accept the consequences of their foolish or bad behavior. And sometimes, even when my instinct is to help them, I will let them fend for themselves and let them suffer the consequences of their choices or circumstances.
But most of the time I am there to help when they need me. If they are in trouble, I offer compassion and go out of my way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, I am trustworthy and sympathetic. And I am direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, I offer it in a straightforward, direct manner, without beating around the bush.
I am also smart enough to know that you cannot take good care of others if I fail to take good care of myself, so I listen to my own wants and needs. If I have run out of sympathetic energy, I spend time restoring myself. If I have ignored my own pain or frustration, I find a friend who will listen well, or go into my own private healing place and give myself permission to focus on me.
But before long, I am back at it with my friends, offering a sympathetic ear and compassion on which they learn to trust, also giving straightforward advice and counsel when they ask for it. I do know how to take care of myself, but my genuine interest is in taking care of others.
Some of the negative reactions others may have towards me me would be...mmm.
People or selfish people might be embarrassed by me. While they are using their time and energy almost exclusively on themselves, they see me as giving time to others, and my kindness puts them in a bad light.
Maybe they'll think I am a phony, that I use my altruism to get others indebted to me so they'll then owe me a favor. Or perhaps they'll accuse me, directly or behind my back, of focusing on the needs of others so no one ever focuses on my foibles or my genuine wounds.
All of these are false accusations; mine is a genuine compassion, because I truly have a tender heart. One criticism might be more substantial, though. People might notice when I let things get out of balance and spend so much time responding to others that I neglect my own needs.
Perhaps it is true to some extent that I am more comfortable when the focus is on someone Else's needs then when I and my needs are front and center, and this may be a criticism worth me paying attention to.
Positive responses others may have towards me are likely to far outweigh negative responses. For many people, my genuine kindness will be an example of a way to treat others and a way we want others to treat us. They will see in me the traites of compassion and sympathy which might want to focus on in the development of their own character.
For thoes people I helped I will be the friend they need, there at the right moment to help them when they have stepped into yet another thicket of pain or confusion. They will be greatful for my listening, for my straight talk when they need straight talk more then anything, and for the hand I extend so they can find their way, with my help, out of whatever tangle they've gotten themselves into.
- Looking for?
- Just anyone that is sober and willing to walk this new adventure of this thing called life.
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Red Rick (rojo1)
sparky