Support for staying clean and sober the LifeRing way
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Michelle a/k/a flitter
- Female
- Michigan City, Indiana
- United States
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Michelle a/k/a flitter's Discussions
Feeling on the outside
Replied Jan 19
relapse & gender
Replied Dec. 21, 2008
relapse & gender
Replied Dec. 12, 2008
"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell......"
Latest Activity
I would caution you against falling into the trap of believing that you are more likely to relapse for any reason. These ideas can sometimes become self-fulfilling prophecies that hinder our ability to make the right choices. That other program do...
Comment Wall (96 comments)
- At 8:40pm on August 11, 2009,
Erin said…
- Hey there girlfriend #775-625-4650
- At 10:00am on June 29, 2009,
adorabelle said…
- Many thanks for your post on my page, it was good reading your words, especially for me at this time in my life...I've had a relapse & my head is so not in a good place at the moment. My husband had threatened (but has now calmed down & isn't) to leave & take my child. I'm so fucking angry with myself it's driving me insane. I want to punish myself for being such a loser & an awful mother & wife. I'm back here cos I need help, I can't carry on like this & I can't let myself fall apart either as I have my husband & child to live for.
Hope we can talk again one day. Hayley
- At 4:23pm on May 7, 2009,
kathy l said… - Hey Michelle,
The mood disorders support group I was talking about is a local one, run through our Mental Health and Addictions Services. I'm still hanging in there, taking 1/2 a zopiclone 3 or 4 times a day. Yes, I have ativan for panic attacks. I take it maybe twice a week, three times at the most as I know how addictive it can be. Hope you are doing okay! Kathy
- At 6:56am on April 28, 2009,
Hilary said… - LOL Linda is much prettier and younger than me!!!
- At 6:30am on April 28, 2009,
BartR said… - I'm pretty sure this one is not legit either. :)
http://lifering.ning.com/profile/OndreaBrowning
- At 11:05am on April 25, 2009,
Linda said… - Hi Michelle,
I don't remember what I have said to you because I black out when I drink. I'm not drinking at the moment, but am hung over. No, I don't miss working. It's a nice break. Unfortunately, I can't get unemployment becuase I'm on medical leave. Sometimes I want to go on SSI too but I don't think I would qualify. I'm sorry you are in such a bad way. Gambling will take everything you have away from you, I hope you stop. I hope I stop drinking SOON. That telemarketing job took my anxiety to new heights! I see my doc again on May 6. We'll see if she keeps me off work or returns me to work. I could ask her to recommend that I quit that job and then fight for my unemployment benefits. Fortunately, I live with someone that is letting me stay rent-free. And I do get food stamps. I just applied and since I Have zero income, I will get $192 a month which will contribute to the household.
We can't keep our addictions alive. We must do everything in our power to save ourselves. It sounds like your stress is worsening. I am so sorry you are suffering. We both have to dig deep and realize that we have stop or something really bad is going to happen. Let's look to brighter future, okay?
Hugs!!!
- At 8:27am on April 24, 2009,
Linda said…
- Hi there,
Been meaning to contact you, just like been meaning to do a lot of things but too depressed to think straight. Sorry you hit your rock bottom on gambling, or maybe that's what it takes for an addict to stop and get help. I do understand about it though, the gambling, drinking. I told you about my past gambling and then filed bankruptcy. Still not doing well with drinking. I feel so sick. Now I'm on medical leave for depression from working at the freaking telemarketing job. Employer was harrassing me like school yard bullying. I think I wrote your phone number down somewhere. We've got to hang in there, okay?
Hugs back atcha!
- At 1:03pm on April 4, 2009,
Linda said…
- (((MIchelle)))
My last bet was a couple of months ago and just like every other time it was devastating. Because of my gambling over the past years, I had to file bankruptcy becuase I maxed out my credit cards and could not pay them back. I went inpatient rehab for gambling. Here in Oregon, they have help using ORegon Lottery dollars, free help to anyone who is addicted to gambling. I learned that gambling addicts have the highest rate of suidice. Sweetie, try to get help for this!!! Also, some of your meds can cause you to be more impulsive. I think Prozac is one of them. Please, I urge you to do research on all your meds and please talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts. YOu are not alone, but you need to put a halt to your gambling. I know it is not easy especially when other life matters are upsetting you. But your health and peace of mind are of utmost important. I care about you. Please look into all your resources. What state do you live in? I will help you research. Also, please tell me all the names of your meds. Make a doc apointment. Please help youself get help. You can get this straightened out. Hugs back! Please reply soon. I am concerned. xoxo
- At 5:37pm on February 24, 2009,
kathy l said…
- Hey Michelle,
Hope you are okay. I see my doc on Feb 26 and will discuss the latest 'failure' of a med - Paxil. Actually, I think I will talk to her about stopping the respiridone first and see if that is the cause of my almost constant dizziness. If it's not, then the Paxil is gone! When she wrote the prescription for paroxetine, I didn't realize it was Paxil. I was on it years ago with a lousy outcome. No better this time. sigh. Something's got to help, wouldn't ya think????
- At 12:56am on February 5, 2009,
sid said… - Hi Michelle,
Congrats on your 2 months.
All the best for 2009.
You know its a day at a time.
Regards,
Sid
Profile Information
- Hometown:
- Michigan City, Indiana
- Relationship Status:
- In a Relationship, It's Complicated
- How long clean and sober
- been in and out of treatment for 15 years actually
- About Me:
- My friends call me Shelley, as some of you will note i will post under both......So far i haven't made any enemies, so you all are considered my friends.
I'm a crazy comedian to say the least. Also a chronic relapser, altho' seems to be under control right now.....Divorced after 16 years of marriage, 23 altogether with x, mother of 3 (ages 13, 16, & 18), in a serious relationship with another recovering addict (crystal meth and alcoholic). Always been a sufferer of anxiety and depression, on just about every med u can mention. Recently diagnosed as manic/depressive bipolar. Compulsive/addicted personality. Basically at some point in my life addicted to one thing or another. Always my first love, alcohol, cocaine, pain meds/opiates, gambling, etc.
- Looking for?
- Any help, suggestions, idea's for staying sober, friendship and whatever comes my way
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http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=vh3hnp&s=5
Michelle a/k/a flitter's Photos
Michelle a/k/a flitter's Blog
WTH-Changing addictions, this is BADDDDDDDDDDDD..................
Before I ever admitted or knew i was an alcoholic, i had a gambling addiction. My husband and I, now x, would go through 100's of $ every weekend, chasing usually just a $300 winner at bars. My gamblin was somewhat more than my x ever knew, i would sneak out without him, sometimes writing checks for $100's, sometimes winnin it back, sometimes not. I had all kinds of ways of hiding it from him. We were also on cocaine somewhat back then, say 'bout 20 years ago.......and heavy drinkers, b ut i wou… Continue
Posted on March 13, 2009 at 5:30am — 3 Comments
Here we go again
Ok, i hafta be honest here. I was watching intervention tonite, (maybe i should quit watching, reminds me of my aa meetings that should turn me off, yet glorify that buss for me) at my x's, cuz he is out of town with my oldest at a college, and i hafta stay here to get my 12 & 16 year old dinner and off to skool tomorra. What is wrong? I can't put my finger on it. This used to be my home for 20 + YEARS, and i stay here a few nites a week, since i got out of hospital in dec., due to my boyfri… Continue
Posted on January 26, 2009 at 7:53pm — 3 Comments
Remember, that one time?????
Ha, was lying in bed this morning, without anxiety or desire to be drunk for another day, thinkin back how i used to hear from my 10 - 12 year old, in front of anyone wishing to hear mind you, "HEY MOM, REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME, YOU WERE DRUNK AND YOU......", "AND THAT OTHER TIME, YOU WERE DRUNK AND......."
:)
Not funny at the time, very humiliating, embarrassing, all things i didn't want to be reminded of, some i didn't remember, etc, and she just didn't understand why she shouldn't do this aroun… Continue
:)
Not funny at the time, very humiliating, embarrassing, all things i didn't want to be reminded of, some i didn't remember, etc, and she just didn't understand why she shouldn't do this aroun… Continue
Posted on September 5, 2008 at 6:51am — 2 Comments
overwhelmed, chaos, anxiety, medical bills!!!!!!!!!!
I had a major anxiety attack last nite with the whirl of insanity of trying---or having to-- figure out all these medical bills that keep coming in, mostly denied by my insurance as i had an unbelievable limit of $2500 maximum benefit for substance abuse with my insurance.....well, just one stay was over $10,000....
Well, i have been putting them in my little, actually big, pile for about 2 months, not wanting to deal. It bothers me tremendously to have something like this to do, and was almost… Continue
Well, i have been putting them in my little, actually big, pile for about 2 months, not wanting to deal. It bothers me tremendously to have something like this to do, and was almost… Continue
Posted on August 15, 2008 at 7:30am — 3 Comments
Unable to Share..............
Unable to Share........
They say insanity isn't the way we drink, but the ways we go about doing it.
Well, it has been 5 or 6 weeks since my last relapse, my brush with death. I have been unable to share or talk about my last drunk (i still attend AA, definately not a "stepper", but still keep trying) and am scared to death. Progression definately means more than I once thought.
It doesn't just mean things will get worse, it means u WILL do more things to get alcohol, things u never thought… Continue
They say insanity isn't the way we drink, but the ways we go about doing it.
Well, it has been 5 or 6 weeks since my last relapse, my brush with death. I have been unable to share or talk about my last drunk (i still attend AA, definately not a "stepper", but still keep trying) and am scared to death. Progression definately means more than I once thought.
It doesn't just mean things will get worse, it means u WILL do more things to get alcohol, things u never thought… Continue
Posted on July 21, 2008 at 10:00am — 7 Comments
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